(no subject)

[trace_of_scarlet]

I done wrote a thing. Gimme concrit?

Metropolitansexual

Meet me in Cardiff on a summer's day
When the daffodils rear gleeful in the sun.
Meet me in Cardiff and we'll run down to the Bay,
Slick ice creams sweet against the tongue.
Meet me in Cardiff on a summer's day.

Meet me in London on an autumn day
When the trees weep red and golden by the Thames.
Meet me on London Bridge and we'll meander for the day,
Kiss cocktails where the streetlights glow like gems.
Meet me in London on an autumn day.

Meet me in Paris on a winter's day
When the people fur like catkins in the cold.
Meet me in Paris and we'll snug in a café,
Drink together until midnight where the bridges arch in gold.
Meet me in Paris on a winter's day.

Meet me in Cardiff, London, Paris,
I'll laugh with you in Madrid, New York or DC.
Meet me where you will just so long as you will meet me,
We'll navigate our lives by the stars that we see.

Comments

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Well OBVIOUSLY I approve.

[bethan-b-bad.livejournal.com]

:D I thought you might.

Any concrit, though, please? I was thinking of sending it into Filament magazine - I think they're still after poetry to publish.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

I have none beyond wishing you good luck - this is very tidy and clean, and you use your rhythm well. :)

[bethan-b-bad.livejournal.com]

<3 Thanks!

[mmexlibris]

I liked it so much, I had to put it to music. (With minor tweakage.)

Thank you for letting me share your words!

Meet Me In Cardiff (mp3)

[bethan-b-bad.livejournal.com]

<3

[bigfluffball.livejournal.com]

Aw, that's cute :D

If you're thinking of publishing, I should say that in my experience, many people do not know what a snug is. Depends where your target audience is though. Otherwise awesome.

[ashen_key]

I LIKE.

*beat*

Right, yes, proper commentary.

I love the beat of this, whimsical and clear, and the fact you love these cities really comes through. And it's light, and whimsical, and I really like the "meet me everywhere" quality, instead of the normal "stay with me forever".